SESSION 4 Nov 20th ‘My Dangerous Lover Boy’ watching Film

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Hi we are: Lisa, Dina, Stevie, Natalie, Sara, Sarah, Iman,

We could not wait to watch the rest of the ‘my dangerous lover boy’ DVD. There was some really disturbing parts of the film where the girl is in a room and men come in and just have sex with her. Sarah couldn’t take it. The girl was getting rinsed out and we felt sorry for her.

 
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After watching the film, Claire asked us if we thought it was gonna end like that. We were mostly vex with the ending, cos the girl run away and nothing happened to the boyfriend. we would have like to see it end with:
  • having the men put in prison and the girl following her dreams – Sarah and Sara
  • showing the girl dying/dead

             

We watched the ‘it’s because he cares’ animation video, this was cool. The girls spontaneously spoke of resisting ‘trickery’ – gifts, empty words of I love you, yet being asked to have sex, give brain or have anal’ – Sarah. The group then had a debate about ‘controlling behaviour and intention’ when Natalie said that if her partner asked her not to smoke weed she would See that as controlling. Iman spoke of smoking weed and still advising other not too because she knows of the effects and cares for the other person.
 
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Getting involved making a photo collage Moodboard
 
Collage – How I want to be treated to in a relationship:
We didn’t quite understand the task at first, but we got round to doing the images to represent what we like in a relationship. Anne-Marie and Abby helped us individually to go through what picture represent how we feel. We loved it, with music playing in the background, we could chat about situations and find pictures that say what we are talking about. It was like a chill out session. Sara was our youtube dj, playing some heavy tunes.
 
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Gabby working on collage.
 
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Sara and Iman working on mural together
 
For some of us it was easy to show how we want to be treated and what we look for in relationships. But for others it was hard. They said, ‘there’s no such thing as a healthy relationships’ , ‘boys are manipulators, abusers and try to stop you seeing the true picture’, ‘can’t trust boys’.
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SESSION 3 Nov 13th

Hey, we are: Sara, Sarah, Stevie, Dina, Iman, Lisa,Gabby.

Walked into the session today so excited, to finish watching that loverboy film. As last week we kept on stopping and discussing, we hoped to just watch it all the way through and discuss in the end. We starting liking the film and just wanting to see what the girl will do at the end.

Claire realised she did not have the DVD, this upset all of us and we said we can help look for it online. Gabby suggested this website where you can watch film for free, but the film was not on the website.

Anne-Marie wasn’t in today, we missed her and asked Abby where she was and she said that “Anne will not be joining us today.”

Claire came up with and idea of watching the music video of the theme song from the film ‘My Dangerous Loverboy’. We watched ‘My Dangerous Lover Boy’ music video, and had a discussion around what was happening in the video and how we could take from that video to create our own. A few words like FREEDOM, CONSENT, VULNERABLE, GROOMING, PERSUADE came up in our discussion and Claire broke it down for us, so we understood what they meant and at what point in the video this was happening. We really got into the discussion and spoke about situations which we think relate to what we watched.

2013-11-13 10.01.55 Thoughts and reflections from watching ‘My Dangerous Loverboy’

Natalie said she does not want the rap to be based on sex, “it’s long, why would I want to rap about those thing?” It’s going to be boring

We were asked to each say a line each for our song, from what we’ve learnt from the video and the few session we have done. This was long, we didn’t really want to do it, but once someone mentioned something we all added a bit. It was hard to think of a line.

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Stevie said she’s not going to do the video, Abby let her know she will be working on camera but would need to say what she thinks we can add.

SESSION 2 Nov 6th (Music video vision)

We are: Gabby, Natalie, Stevie, Sarah, Iman, Sara, Dina

We started the session looking back over two female images that stood out to us from last week. Anne-Marie put the images on the and asked us to think about what could make a girl go from one image to another. She taught us words like ’empowerment’ – to take control of your life, to take up opportunities, education, healthy ways of thinking so that you have more choice and ways of bettering yourself and ‘disempowerment’ – where you lose control of your hopes, dreams and ability to cope and hand your power over to others or be overpowered.

We listed different ideas of what could happen to girls to make them go form a position of ’empowerment’ to ‘disempowerment’ and the other way.

We said:- Loss, death, family break-down, drugs and alcohol, bad relationship, being taken advantage off, getting into negative situations, hanging around with the wrong people and more. Some of  us said that it like talking about our own lives. W also  said about not following certain people, being able to say no and not believing all what boys tell you, having self-belief.

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Grooming of young girls

Claire Manchester from the Integrated gangs Unit showed us a video called ‘My dangerous lover boy’. This was the first time most of us have met her. She is one of us YOT worker.

My Dangerous Loverboy – here’s a summary of the film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6B0N_2GT9Y

It became annoying watching 5 mins of the film then stopping to talk about our thoughts and feelings, but managed to give feedback on what we thought and felt.

Our reflections of My Dangerous Loverboy

Our reflections of My Dangerous Loverboy

Natalie said next time we should watch the whole film without stopping, as it really annoyed her. Claire then explained that she keeps stopping the film so that we don’t forget our views.
We also could not stop talking once we started and we started to challenge each others views. Most of us were sympathetic with the girls situation. Others really got angry with what was happening to her. Gabby thought that she could have read the signs and left the man as soon as he gave her free gifts.

Did you know?

That a young girl at the ages of 13 can be groomed for up to 3 years so that the build a trust in the person grooming them, this makes them vulnerable.

We were able to identify early signs of danger like:
– a 15 years old, getting into the car of an older man
– being brought gifts very early in the relationship
– how the need to feel special (especially when such needs are not being met at home) can lead girls to a place of vulnerability. Where they will be controlled and over powered to do things that they do not want to do.

SESSION ONE

We are Aspire Girls, Iman, Stevie, Gaby, Natalie, Sara S, Sarah, Dina, Lisa.This is our first session, we were excited to meet the DreamArts team and to hear about the project and what we will be doing for the next few weeks. We met Anne-Marie and Abby and they explained the project and Arts Awards, which we need to complete. It’s equal to a GCSE so obviously we’re interested.
We love the hot chocolate with donuts, so it’s calm having that every session, and getting to talk about things we care about.We listed what we feel is going to keep this group CALM. Qualities like ‘respect’, ‘belief’, ‘fun’, ‘listen’. Hot chocolate and food is essential for the group and agreed to try to talk things through if some-one broke the rules. Though, Sara felt strongly that if no-one spoke to the person they would fix up as a result.
Ground Rules

Ground Rules

  ‘Being a girl means’:

  • feeling controlled and over-protected by parents in comparison to boys.
  • being told what we can and cannot do in relation to jobs, behaviour
  • It’s not fair boys are more free to do what they please.
  • the way boys speak to us and call us names if we sleep around. Natalie mention that this does not affect her as she is not into boys at all, but into girls.
  • We didn’t feel there is much we liked about being girls apart from wearing make up.  Even, having a womb and having the option to have children was a dislike more than a like, as it related to period pains, labour pains, men leaving and not taking responsibility, this makes it difficult to trust men in general. Though, Sara said the child is always with you from conception, which is a bonus.
    BEING FEMALE

    BEING FEMALE

IMAGINE INTO THEIR LIVES:

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We worked in smaller groups for this exercise and found it difficult to imagine into the images and to describe what kind of life these women live. It was easier to describe what we saw (she from Hong Kong, goes gym,etc). The ‘we can do it’ and the ‘girl on the floor drunk in the toilet’ were the two images that stood out as they were the most powerful ones.

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By the end of the session we decided we wanted to do a music video. It should be epic!